So you’ve been invited to a real Halloween party. You want to dress as something familiar, but… better. You’re an adult now, right? Right? Anyway, to avoid some horrific mistakes, here’s the TOP 5 CHARACTERS TO NOT BE A SEXY VERSION OF ON HALLOWEEN
#5: Michael Myers.
The man is a dangerous sociopath, no matter how you look at it. His body count across all his films is beyond “scary but hot” and into “small midwestern genocide”
And need I mention the Love Guru?
Don’t let the bright colors fool you, for this childhood favorite will no doubt seem a good choice for one to throw off the chains of youth by subverting a nostalgic icon. But that doesn’t mean you AREN’T a furry for this.
#3: Kevin Spacey in a Predator mask
While it is a topical and funny pun that works on multiple layers, a sexy version of Kevin Spacey Sexual Predator gag adds nonironic sexuality that can confuse the message and ultimately make the joke fall flat. And how do you even pull that off? A sexy Frank Underwood suit with a Predator mask on top?
#2: Pickle Rick
I guess I can see the reasoning for this one, but why on Earth would you go through with it? Did you actually get invited to this party? Are you showing up as a sexy version of an intentionally unfunny joke to school? Jesus, go yell at a minimum wage McDonalds employee for some meme ketchup*.
*Please don’t actually yell at a minimum wage McDonalds employee.
I’m disappointed I even need to say this one, but please do not lewd the child. That goes for Finn Wolfhard too.
…who do you think you are, Sexy Kevin Spacey in a Predator Mask?